Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
