so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
