she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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