We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Everclear isn't food dammit
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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