Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
