You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize