we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
