so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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