Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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