even my farts smell like vagina
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
