If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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