Dignity is for republicans.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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