So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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