DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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