I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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