i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
