I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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