At least make sure they are 18
Why
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize