just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
