I must be too annoying 4 u.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
