she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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