six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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