im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
