My underwear smells like fireworks.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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