Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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