After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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