Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
