turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
