I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
