He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize