It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was confusing and full of hummus
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
