I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
