It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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