bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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