You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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