Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I currently don't understand fingers.
its liver damage thursday
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize