and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
