It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize