THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
