I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
