we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
