real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
