I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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