I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
