guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
