After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
