They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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