Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
