it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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