So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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