why didn't you poke me back
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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