I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
