BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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