Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Randomize
