i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize