I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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