well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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