...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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