I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
