Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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