Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
