i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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