I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
