We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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